Time is Running Out...

Tick. Tock.

You can't escape it. 

Tick.

That deafening noise that never ceases.

Tock.

You can turn the radio up, jam your fingers in your ears, twirl around in circles and scream and shout...but it will prevail.  It always does.

Tick, Tick, Tick.

You can run...but you can't hide.  Give it your best shot.  It'll find you.

Tock.

I promise.

Because time stops for no one.  The second hand will continue its swoop around the clock...and there's nothing you can do to stop it.  Seconds turn to minutes, minutes turn to hours, hours to days and days to years.  And there's not a damn thing you can do...but throw your hands in the air, tilt your face toward the heavens with tear-stained cheeks and wonder, "Where the hell did the time go?"

Tick. Tock. Tick.

My boyfriend deploys in less than a week.  He'll be based in Kuwait as a Lieutenant with the National Guard, leading convoy escorts back and forth from Northern Iraq.  He'll be gone for a year.

Tick.

I have 5 days.

Tock.

We've been together for (not even) 3 months.

Tick.

And now all we have is 5 days...

Tock.

Before 365 of the most miserable days of my life.

Tick. Tock.

And I can't do it alone.  Military readiness groups aren't meant for significant others.  Blood and Vows.  That's what the military cares about.  I'm not family...and there's no promise that I ever will be, but I love him.  I love him more than I've ever loved anyone, and I've never felt more ill prepared for anything in my life.  I can't be alone.  That's why I'm writing this.  I'm hoping this blog will help lead me to other people who have gone through, are going through, or will be going through exactly what I'm going through now...the deployment of a boyfriend (or girlfriend).

But even if it doesn't...I need an outlet.  I need a way to express myself in a way that won't burden my loved ones.  I need to be able to sit on my couch for three days straight, sobbing my eyes out, eating cookies dunked in ice cream and just let it all out...without judgment.

That's what I'm hoping to get out of this.

So who am I?

My name is Sarah. I'm 26 years old. I'm a broadcast journalist who's on the verge of saying good bye to the love of her life.  I'm patriotic. I'm proud.

I'm Red, White and (mostly) Blue.

and scared out of my mind...