Greeting Cards, Tears and Fears

I teared up for the first time today.  In my defense, I was in the greeting card aisle at the grocery store, and it was more of a mist than a waterfall of tears, but either way, I welled up.  Ya see, I'm thinking about this whole deployment thing.  A few weeks ago, I never would have thought about getting a "deployment gift" for Jonny.  1. He tells me time and time again, that he's a simple guy, who doesn't need a lot of "stuff" and gets sheepish when he's the center of attention/the target of my big-big heart and my aspiring-to-be-big wallet.  And 2. The whole concept is a bit off to me. I mean, "Here's a gift to celebrate something you don't want to do. Congratulations!"  And then there's that whole, I-have-no-idea-what-to-get-him-anyway thing.  I've been scouring the internet for weeks, but everything seems to fall short.  So I opted out of it, and decided I'd just write a really, really nice heartfelt letter...describing exactly how I feel, and exactly what he means to me.  I want him to know that I love him, and our crazy whirlwind romance, and I'm not going anywhere.  That's sweet, right?

Right?

Well, lately I've been having doubts.  Is it enough?  Will a dumb letter do the trick?

I'm not so sure.

Which is why I found myself cruising down the card aisle in the grocery store...looking for some inspiration.

Instead - I found tears.

The worst part is...this is the easy part.  I've gotten to speak to him for the last three days.  He texts me all day long.  And I get to see his sweet little face when he sends me picture mail.  It's tough that I don't get to see him, but I'm coping.  Or...at least trying to.

But that'll all change in about 2 months.  After his deployment ceremony on the 26th, he'll spend 45 days at Fort McCoy before deploying to Kuwait.  If I cry in the greeting card aisle now...how on Earth will I survive once he really deploys?  When he can't call every day? When he can't send me text messages? When he's actually in harms way?

One day at a time...that's how.

But it's not going to be easy...