Speak up!

I need help.  I need advice.  I need someone reading this to say something...or pass this along to someone who will.

I've never gone through a deployment...I don't know what I'm doing.  What I do know...is that I'm in over my head.  I'm trying to navigate through a jungle in the middle of the night...without a flashlight or a map.  I'm lost.

Completely lost.

Help me.

Things aren't as rosy as they seem.  I guess that's the perk of being a good writer...you can paint the picture however you want to.  I love him...but this is tough.  I'm being snapped at a lot.  Tempers are running short.  He's closing off, shutting down and backing away.  He did this once before, but after two weeks of AT, that changed.  It's like he saw the light at the end of the tunnel, and he opened up.  I blogged about it.  Life was perfect.

Now we're back to square one.

I feel left in the dark. I have an insatiable need to understand things...to be kept on the same page...to know why things are playing out the way they are.  I'd rather be hurt by the truth, than strung along with a lie.  The more he closes off, the more I push to know...and it's a vicious cycle that's getting me nowhere.

I'm frustrated.

And I need you to speak up...