I read through a bunch of these posts yesterday, and I sound crazy. Like legitimately crazy.
I assure you, I'm not.
I'm just going through a lot and trying to make sense of it all. Unfortunately for you, that process unfolds right here in this blog, because I'd rather hash it all out here, than dump it all on my friends in an hour-long phone call. It just so happens that the only stuff I need help sorting out, is stuff that gets me in a tizzy. No sense in blogging about run-of-the-mill things, right?
Well, I've had a change of heart. Today, I am going to look back on a very happy moment in my life...
...and it just so happens to be five months ago today.
If you know me at all, you know this story. I love to tell it. In fact, even thinking about telling it has brought a smile to my face :)
So - let's go back to five months ago. Actually...let's go back a few days further.
A week actually.
5 months. 1 week.
I met the love of my life.
I was ready to give up on men. I've dated a lot of doozies, got played better than a deck of cards, and was really ready to join the nunnery and commit myself to lesbianism (ok, not really...but I was pretty close to having my carpet bag packed, and only one phone call away from having my "Sound of Music" moment of joining the sisterhood. Seriously.) It was the day after Valentine's Day, I was as single as they come, and I was nursing a broken heart and a busted knee (My Valentine's Day present to myself was a torn meniscus). I didn't go out for Valentine's Day, and really didn't really expect the day after to be much different.
And then my phone rang.
It was my friend Christine.
C: "So, my friend wants to date you."
S: "Good for him. Not gonna happen."
C: "Oh come on...just one date. What's one blind date?"
S: "After the dates I've been on recently? A lot. Sorry, Christine. I just really don't want to."
C: "But he's so nice!"
S: "That's code word for ugly."
C: "No, we called him Beefy Jon in high school."
S: "Christine...I love you. But no. I really don't want to date anyone right now."
C: "One date. Come on. One date."
S: "Fine...if you want to set up a giant group date...invite the gay husbands and everything...that's fine. I'll do that. Meet up for drinks in a group setting? I'll do that. But no blind dates."
C: "Ok, I'll have to call him and see when he's available."
S: "That's fine."
C: "It'll probably be sometime next week."
S: "Again. That's fine. Doesn't really matter...I'm only doing this because I love you. Lesbian. Nunnery. Carpet bag. Remember?"
C: "Ha. Got it. We'll be in touch."
5 minutes later...
C: "We'll meet you at Beetle's in an hour."
S: "What?"
C: "I called, he's on his way down from Eagan, we're on our way from Albert Lea. We'll be there in 45 minutes, and there's nothing you can do about it, because we're already in the car. See you there."
S: "I seriously hate you. What happened to next week? Christine...I'm not putting any effort into this. I'm not changing...not doing my hair...not touching up my make-up..."
C: "That's fine. See you in 45 minutes."
S: "I seriously hate you."
C: "Love you! Bye."
So I really didn't touch myself up at all. I wore the same jeans and cardigan that I wore to volunteering that day. I was showing up as is...and that's all there was to it.
Christine and her friend Tif beat me to the restaurant. Then game our gay husbands...and then.
"Jonny!!!"
My back was towards the door. I had no idea what he looked like. My first thought? "Please don't be ugly, please don't be ugly, please don't be ugly." That thought was immediately replaced with, "OH SHIT!" The moment he came around the corner.
Beefy Jon lived up to his name. He wasn't just "Beefy" -- he was gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. I instantly regretted my stupid, frumpy cardigan, messy hair and lack of make-up. DAMN IT Christine!! Why didn't you tell me this man was drop-dead gorgeous? Seriously!! "Nice" was the best adjective you could come up with?!? Ugh.
I don't really remember what we talked about. I remember that conversation was awkward at points, and my gay husband did his best to completely mortify me in front of him. What I do remember about that night, is that I couldn't take my eyes off of him. Occasionally our eyes would lock across the table, we'd wink and blush, and look away. It was flirtation at its finest. Then...one by one, my friends started disappearing...until we were the only two left at the table. I moved in closer, and I distinctly remember thinking, "This guy isn't at all interested in me." I made the first move (which, according to my memory, was me locking arms with him, but according to his memory, was a kiss on the cheek). Soon after, he leaned in to kiss me on the cheek and whispered, "That's all you're going to get" before flashing a devilish grin. After awhile...we mosied (sp?) our way to the parking lot...and what happened next was nothing short of majestic. He walks me to my car, looks me in the eyes and says, "Oh what the hell," cradles my head in his hands and pulls me in for one of the most romantic kisses of my life. It was seriously perfect.
I saw fireworks. Literally.
That kiss sealed the deal for me. The butterflies started fluttering in my belly, I started falling head over heels, and I knew at that instant there was no one else I'd rather be with. Sounds corny...but it's so true. I fell for him at that very moment. The kisses that followed only confirmed what my heart already knew. I think he knew it too -- because he was trembling, and it wasn't because he was cold. He said so.
We stood in the parking lot forever. Neither one of us wanting to be the first one to walk away. Neither one of us wanting that moment to end. Eventually -- we had no other choice. We went our separate ways, and within 30 seconds, my phone was ringing.
J: "Did you see them?"
S: "See what?"
J: "The fireworks."
S: <laughs> "How could I not?"
J: "Good. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't the only one."
S: "No, you definitely weren't."
J: "I feel like I'm in middle school all over again. I can't wait to see you again. Can I drive back down tomorow?"
And with that...we had date #2.
For the next week, Jonny asked me to be his girlfriend in every conversation we had.
S: "You can't ask me over the phone!! That's not how this works. Besides, you barely know me."
J: "I know enough."
S: "Well, you can't ask over the phone. You'll just have to wait."
And then, less than one week after our first date, on February 21st, I made my first trip up to his house in Eagan. There was a horrible blizzard that day. I was driving at a snail's pace...passing all sorts of accidents and wrecks on the way up, but nothing was going to stop me from seeing him. The hour-and-a-half long drive, ended up taking almost three and a half hours. By the time I got there, I was white knuckled, worn out, exhausted...and couldn't find the house. He ran outside in the blizzard to flag me in, I parked the car, he opened the door for me, and before I could even get my seat belt off, he said, "How about now? Now will you be my girlfriend?"
It was adorable. We sealed it with a kiss and the rest is history.
He may not be my boyfriend now, but I still want him to be. I still love him. I adore him. I miss him, and I want him to be mine.
So baby? Happy Anniversary. We may not be together anymore...
but it still feels like five months to me.
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