You never get used to deployment. You can push it to the corners of your mind...ignore it...refuse to accept it...and though it might make it a little easier for awhile...you never get used to it.
Since I can still text him and (occasionally) call him, I convince myself he's on some sort of tropical vacation somewhere...or on a business trip...but deep down, I know that's not true. It makes the day to day easier, but when those days hold a special significance...it's hard to ignore that giant hole in your heart. I had an award banquet tonight for work. I got second place for best young Journalist of the Year, and first place for a Series report I did on drunk driving. My mom was by my side, and I was thrilled to have her there, but I couldn't help but feel like something was missing...or at least...someone. It didn't help that there was an empty chair at the table too.
It was a great night, a marvelous night...a wonderful night...I just wish he could have been there too. Not just in heart or in spirit...but actually there.
I miss him always...but more on nights like this...
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